Thursday, 14 July 2011

Am still here, despite the arsenic.

Sorry to have neglected you all, chickadees, but things are moving quite well here and we're both rather busy.  I finally have all my belongings out of storage and have only managed to empty the boxes with kitchen utensils etc in.  I was delighted to be reunited with my Hello Kitty mug - the last thing that the Twat gave me, so it holds a lot of sentimental value - although Richard isn't so fond of it.  Or any of my other Hello Kitty items.  He's no fun.

I had wood flooring put down throughout the house last weekend after Richard and I had ripped up the ghastly carpetting and Richard had removed the skirting boards.  Some of the skirting boards in the dining room were rotten so will have to be replaced which is a bit of a bummer, but the house looks improved already, simply by the new flooring.  Days are spent listening to Radio 2 as we attack the walls and ceilings, ripping them bare of thick wallpaper covered in even thicker layers of paint.  Even the ceilings are covered in wallpaper, so it is a slow process and we have only finished taking the paper off in the dining room - we have now moved on to the main bedroom, which is easier, but larger.  The green colour underneath the wallpaper suggests that there is arsenic on the walls, but I don't think that is a serious issue now.  It's not as if I have taken to licking the bare walls.

So there we are.  I haven't even had time to observe much of Crewe lately apart from some shocking fashion faux-pas.  A fairly large woman in her 30s crossed the road in front of us yesterday wearing leggings that looked as if she was wearing a pair of ladders.  The oozing cellulite wasn't pleasant to see and actually managed to shut both Richard and I up as we watched her cross in sheer horror.  We gave her kudos for having the guts to be dressed like that, but really - she should put them away - or give them to a charity in need of a duster.

Hermie is enjoying this warmer weather and has spent nights out for a while now.  I was getting  slightly worried about Hermie's diet as he doesn't seem to think much of English chicory and I never know how much he actually eats when outside so bought him some protein pellets which he loves.  I had to hand-feed him at first as he didn't eat them - but christ, the little bugger has such a sharp beak and has nipped me by mistake on several occasions.

I shall have to report on the worm charming event at some stage, as well as the Wrenbury scarecrows, photos of which will go up as soon as I get wifi later this month.

I think that's all for now.  Richard remains as caring as ever when only yesterday, because of the arsenic on the walls, he warned me not to pick my nose that evening.

He's all charm, that Richard.

16 comments:

Richard said...

I have checked this using teh internets; there isn't any arsenic so you can carry on picking.

Anonymous said...

Zo' I think your new blog will be just as interesting as your last, and I'm glad you started writing again. Belgium, England, France.... it's all somewhere they've never been for a lot of people.

Mr. Nighttime said...

"A fairly large woman in her 30s crossed the road in front of us yesterday wearing leggings that looked as if she was wearing a pair of ladders. The oozing cellulite wasn't pleasant to see and actually managed to shut both Richard and I up as we watched her cross in sheer horror. We gave her kudos for having the guts to be dressed like that, but really - she should put them away - or give them to a charity in need of a duster."

Sounds like a typical Wal-Mart customer, which is one of the varied reasons I never go into Wal-Mart. I sense that she is most likely an Asda customer, which from what Richard has made me understand, is basically the same as Wal-Mart.

Anonymous said...

The green stuff could be a copper-based insecticide or fungicide, a bad choice of paint color, or some kid's science project.

Take a sample of it and the wallpaper-and-paint sandwich to an established, traditional-type hardware, paint &/or wallpaper shop. Staff at a big-box DIY place won't know what it is and will stare at your massive bosoms instead. Older staff at a more traditional shop should be able to identify the green stuff and tell you what to do about it, if anything. It is considered polite to thank them by making a small purchase and giving them a big smile (and maybe a glimpse of cleavage -- hers Richard, not yours).

Whatever the green stuff is, I'd recommend using dust masks if you have to sand or scrape the stuff, and using a good sealant/primer before putting on your finish paint.

I'd also recommend Richard throw the Hello Kitty stuff overboard about halfway through the ferry ride to Calais. (Did you know biological felines often cannot tolerate Hello Kitty??? One of my late walking mousetraps would bury Hello Kitty stuff in her litter box, usually having soaked it in urine before the burial. That cat had class.)

Anonymous, too

PS to Herman: Don't bite the hand that feeds you. . .too much.

lom said...

Nooooo, you can't do that to Hello Kitty, she's far too cute

Zoe said...

Thank you lom - at least somebody has taste in these parts. Other than me, obviously.

john.g. said...

Pick your nose, just don't eat it!

john.g. said...

Thanks for the joke, i'll post it soon! xx

Anonymous said...

Z., sweetie, I mean no disrespect, but are you saying you've brought down the collective taste, culture, and general level of civilization of Crewe by introducing the region to Hello Kitty?!?!?

It's the end of English civilization as we knew it. Hell, it might be the end of Human civilization as we knew it. I'd better start practicing my Klingon, and Hutt, and Dalek, and. . .

Anon, 2, is hurriedly trying to translate "To Serve Humans"

Zoe said...

Anon, too - bringing Hello Kitty to the parts of the this country is doing it a service. Have you ever been here? This place hasn't seen the sun since....I ordered my garden furniture. My BBQ still remains in it's box and I shall be using the garden furniture as indoor furniture until I find a decent table.

Crewe needs Hello Kitty.

Richard said...

Hello Kitty arrived before you. Unlike you, it has been rejected by Crewites, that is why it sits on one little shelf in WH Smiths.

Guyana-Gyal said...

I'm quite impressed that you've got Richard helping you. A handy man to have around :-)

I won't be surprised if the hello kitty mug suddenly falls off the table [by itself, of course] and breaks.

justjock said...

wonderful to see you back where you belong. life is now complete. color me content.

Dumdad said...

I haven't visited your blog in years (apologies) and when I do turn up I find you've moved. Now living in the UK. Lucky you. I closed my old blog and started a new one this year. A change is as good as etc. Bonne chance with your new life.

Julian Meteor said...

lol @ Richard.

Richard said...

Meteor, behave or I'll let the owls out.

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