Tuesday, 3 April 2012

Mad as a Mad March Hare.

So much has happened since I last wandered in this direction that I haven't even had time to even think about what has actually happened.

Starting from the end, I couldn't blog to a sudden and mad dash at decorating.

Before that, though....

I have become a qualified First Aider.

Yes. Me.

I can help save your life - unless you do something that I didn't learn about. Then you are pretty well stuffed. Well, I almost killed the dummy when attempting mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. I forgot to hold the dummy's nose as it was covered in a cloth which made me forget that while I was blowing into it's mouth like a trumpet player, all the air was coming out through it's nose. I thought it felt rather drafty, but I didn't put it down to my own breath coming out of the dummy's nose. I know now and have the certificate to prove it.

Oh yes. I'm qualified. For 3 years, too.

So I did that. I also finished my Assertiveness Course and no longer swear too much at people to get what I want. Something tells me that I should re-take the course. I then went on to take a photography course but ended up stopping due to some decorating that badly needed doing.

My parents informed me of their visit at the beginning of March. All hell broke out, as did the sun. But that's for another day.

Maybe tomorrow.

But I can attempt to save your life in the meantime.

Just don't die.


Gill said...

And there was me thinking that you had been glued to the chair with hairspray mid-biscuit all this time.

Anonymous said...

I thought mouth-to-mouth was redundant and now it was all CPR? (ref Vinnie Jones advert). Have they only taught you how to save someone's life in 1975?

Sharon J said...

You forgot to mention that you got tiddly with me. Tsk!

Anji said...

Next time we come to the UK I'll know that, if anything happens, to call for you.

I did a course 30 years ago and I know it is such a good feeling when you get the certificate.

We know that you survived your parents visit as you wrote this, hope it went well.

Richard said...

Pfft at Vinnie Jones, he does it WRONG. Apparently.

john.g. said...


Anonymous, too said...

You got the mouth-to-mouth wrong for humans much over the age of 6 or so. With human infants and toddlers -- and with many housepets -- the proper way to do mouth to mouth is with your mouth over the victim's nose AND mouth. Learned this from my dad, who took several such courses for his job (and who, unfortunately, had to perform mouth-to-mouth and CPR for several humans and nonhumans).

So, other than a surprise visit from the parental units, what else has been going on? Has Herman been enjoying some tasty spring greenery? Have you found newts in Crewe? How are the sprouts? What was the decorating crisis? Did it involve the guest room and someone named Richard? Was it Colonel Mustard in the ballroom with the revolver, or was it Miss Scarlet in the conservatory with the candlestick?

Invader_Stu said...

Are you sure you'll be able to save my life? I can do some very dumb stuff.

Bart said...

I'm with Stu on this

Richard Wintle said...

I think my First Aid training is about as out of date as Anji's. Of course, I also last changed a tire on a car at about the same time, and successfully did so again last week. So I'm sure that my First Aid skills would come back to me just as effectively.

Or... if you're dying, go see Zoe, not me.

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